was talking to a friend about stuff stuff and just before he bid me goodbye, he sent me a link which he said i MUST read. haha..
the second item hit me right at my chest..OUCH talaga. I’ll try, promise, I will!
** Hang Around Lots… but Then Be Unavailable
The more you interact with someone, the more they’ll like you, says David Lieberman, a U.S. expert in human behavior. He’s right actually. Several studies show repeated exposure to practically any stimulus makes us like it more (the only time it doesn’t hold true is if our initial reaction to it is negative). So forget about being aloof, evasive, and unavailable in the beginning. Instead, find lots of excuses to spend time with him.
Now, pay attention, because this is the tricky part. Just when you’re convinced you’ve won them over and they like you, start being a little less available. And then even less, until they hardly see you at all. You’ve now effectively instigated the “law of scarcity.” We all know this one: people want what they can’t have and by constantly being available, you diminish your value. If every time you walked outside your front door there was a huge pile of diamonds to step over, you’d hardly see them as precious would you? The law of scarcity only makes them want you. Be around and then not around and they’ll want and like you. I’m stating the obvious here, but liking someone is important. We talk endlessly about chemistry, passion, sexual attraction, and even more about love, yet “like” rarely gets mention. Opposites don’t attract long-term; we search for similarities in a partner. Most of us can’t see the point in hanging around friends we don’t like, so why do it with a lover? Liking someone is more important long-term than actually loving them. It’s not just similarities in our personalities that count. If you go out with someone who looks like you, they’re four times more likely to fall in love with you! “That’s so true!” said a girlfriend, when I told her this trivia tidbit. “Look at my sister and her husband!” Umm — why? Lisa’s sister has bleached blonde hair, freckles, and ivory skin. Her husband is Indian. “I’m not quite with you,” I said carefully. “I know it’s not obvious,” she said, “But it’s the proportion of their faces. His mother came up to me at their wedding and said, ‘They will be happy because they are the same. Look at them.’ And it’s true. They have the same features, in the same places, in the same proportions.
** Don’t Do Nice Things for Them. Let Them Do Nice Things for You
If you do something nice for someone, it makes you feel good on two levels. You feel pleased with yourself and extra-warm toward the person you’ve just spoiled. To justify the effort or expense, we often over-idealize how wonderful he is to deserve it! End result: we like the person more. When someone does something nice for us, we’re pleased. But there are a whole lot of other emotions that come into play — and they’re not all good. Sometimes we feel overwhelmed. There’s pressure to live up to being the wonderful person who inspired such a gift/act, not to mention pressure to return the favor. It’s all even trickier if the “nice thing” comes from someone you very much like but aren’t sure about yet. Got the point? When we’re infatuated with someone, we’re desperate to do nice things for him. You’re much better off letting him spoil you.
